THE NCAA: A desperately out of touch organization.

This week, as part of a long line of their trivial decisions, the NCAA decided to finally hand The Ohio State University football program it’s long awaited punishment for students trading their football “things” in exchange for tattoos and money. On top of this, Ohio States coach; Jim Tressel, who has since stepped down failed to alert the authorities, once he was made aware of these egregious crimes against humanity.

These players were not trading their game day equipment or their playbooks or anything remotely important; they were trading commemorative jerseys and in one case a Big 10 Championship ring in exchange for tattoos and other merchandise. Because of this, the NCAA has decided to ban Ohio State from a bowl appearance in 2012 as well as deprive the school 9 football scholarships per year over the next five years.

I understand that the players broke some rules, but Christ, how in god’s name does that punishment fit that crime? The players who committed the infringements already sat out of at least 5 games each, the head coach was forced out the door, the entire 2011 season was basically a wash and the punishment must continue for another 5 years and essentially punish a collection of coaches and student athletes who had nothing at all to do with this?

It can be argued that nothing wrong was even done to begin with. These players did not steal anything, they did not hurt anyone; they traded some junk for tattoos and spending money. That isn’t a crime, that’s the god dam barter system. How is bartering goods against any set of rules? Civilizations would have never taken foot without this system. Without the ability to do what these kids did, we would all still be running around the dessert, chopping off each other’s heads.

The underlying problem here is this; stop expecting student athletes to be more mature then they are. They are college kids, who just happen to be good at some sport. Being good at a sport, doesn’t make them good decision makers. College students are for the most part, immature jackasses who are there to learn how to become more mature jackasses. The ones who play sports are no different; they all suffer from the same combination of dumb and broke and hormones. So why hold some of these kid’s decisions against an entire multi-million dollar per year athletic program?

I know a guy, who in college sold every bodily fluid imaginable on a bi-weekly basis for 5 years, just so he could fill his freezer with various items from fast food restaurants dollar menu’s, so that he could eat them for dinner every night. He was not alone; thousands of college kids are doing this, because they have no money. Had he happened to be an athlete and had a commemorative jersey that he could have sold for 20 bucks, no doubt he would have done so. God forbid him to save himself a pint or two of blood. This kid would have given up a kidney for a keg of beer and a package of pork chops. Why, because he was broke and stupid, and broke and stupid people do stupid shit. That is the way of the world; major financial organizations should not be brought to their knees over the choices that stupid broke college kids make.

I could understand had these kids murdered someone, but would it have made a difference as far as the punishment was concerned? Thank god the NCAA is not running this nation’s judicial system; people caught jay walking would be hung on the spot.

The NCAA is great for college sports like curling and archery and cross country running, but not for the major sports. Major football and basketball programs at these schools allow all of the other sports at the school to exist. The ticket sales alone from Ohio State Football and Basketball games earn the athletic program nearly 100 million dollars a year. So you’re welcome other sports, without them, you minus well start buying your own curling rocks and bows and arrows and whatever other crap you need for your obscure sporting activities. So someone is needed to oversee the transfer of funds within the athletic programs and the NCAA seems to do well enough in this aspect. They also do a good job of making sure the players aren't doing too many drugs, win. But when it comes to figuring out punishments for things, they are desperately out of touch with reality.

USC is currently in the midst of a two year bowl ban, because Reggie Bush accepted money from a booster years ago when he played there. So everyone who currently plays football at USC, who had no idea what Reggie Bush had done, had never even met the man, are now punished for it. Why, because the NCAA has no jurisdiction beyond punishing athletic programs. Reggie Bush is rich; as will be all of the offending Ohio State players as they trickle into the NFL. But the programs which they are no longer a part of are punished. It reminds me of “Full Metal Jacket” when everyone else had to do calisthenics because Private Pile had hidden a donut in his foot locker. Why have the ability to impose punishment at all when you have no ability to punish the actual offender(s). How old is your rule book that it is this full of shit?

I don’t know about you, but whenever I picture the NCAA rule book, I see this dusty, yellow, filthy, leather bound book, some pages missing, some are half ripped out and the whole thing must be kept inside of an air tight vacuum sealed case because it is so old, that if it were ever exposed to the Earth’s atmosphere, it would vaporize instantaneously. We all just have to take the NCAA’s word on things because nobody can actually read the book for fear of it turning into sand as soon as someone accidently breaths anywhere near it.

I don’t know what the answer is. Institutions who are governed by bodies that they could just buy at any moment never lead to any sort of a good situation. Look at the Securities and Exchange Commission, how’s that shit working out for everyone? My proposal would be to allow the NCAA to govern where they are needed, which would not include sports programs that earn enough to sustain themselves for decades on end. I could understand them stepping in, in the event of some serious rules breakdowns were to occur. They can feel free to drug test and make sure the students are actually going to school and making sure revenues find their way to the archery programs. But as far as players selling memorabilia for cash and tattoos, they should really just fuck off.